A Beginners Guide to Books, Beards, Booze
What are we about?
We are nerds who love to talk about books. So that's the bulk of this podcast: folks sitting around and talking about the books they love and hate. Occasionally we drink. Occasionally we talk about current events dealing with the topics in our name. Sporadically we will read a book as a group. Somewhat less sporadically we will do a 'short read,' where we read a short story and then discuss it as an episode. The bulk of what we cover is generally fantasy/sci-fi related, but really all books are fair game.
Season One - Learning What The Hell To Do
The beginning! This is where Bob and Derek started out, using a shitty microphone. And it shows. It's not the worst audio you've heard, but it isn't great. We eventually became so unhappy with this season that we stopped hosting it anywhere but on youtube. There are some great topics in there...but oof, the audio gets so much better.
Number of episodes: 30
Total Short Reads: 14
Books Read: Talion: Revenant
Season Two - Getting It Together
So we upgraded our microphones and gear. And lord did it make a difference. So much so that we ended season one, and started season two. This season featured the first time we had some regular guests, namely Superfan Tonya became Unpaid Intern Tonya. As always we toyed with the format, because we just couldn't make up our mind on exactly how we like to do things. Don't worry: that stays consistent across all seasons. We're inept like that. The core content stays the same though. Also, you can only hear this season on Youtube as well. Because reasons.
Number of episodes: 38
Total Short Reads: 6
Books read: Kings of the Wyld, Warbreaker, Dune
Season Three - Hitting Our Stride
Here's where shit gets really good, in our opinion. Unpaid Intern Tonya became Creative Consultant Tonya and joined us as a host full time, no longer guesting. Our longest season to date, we really cranked out a number of great episodes.
Number of episodes: 93
Total Short Reads: 23
Books read: Emergency Contact, The Narrows, Jade City, Ready Player One
Season Three.Five - Damn You Covid!
Technically these are now all labled season 3. But originally our Weird West episode was going to be the start of season 4. But Creative Consultant Tonya moved and Covid hit. So that killed our rather elaborate plans for season 4. So that episode and a couple of 'hey, we are alive, don't forget about us' episodes were all that occurred for a long time. We call it season 3.5, but really it's a shitty limbo lol.
Season Four - The Lost Season
Eventually Covid passed to the point that Derek and Bob were able to record a couple episodes, and do some short reads from the Conan tales. But, Bob had also changed jobs, so getting together was harder than ever. So after doing a trio of months it was looking like that might have been the end of us. Had the magic left us? Things just weren't the same without Creative Consultant Tonya on board to mellow out the rightness of Bob, and wrongness of Derek.
Then Bob got off his cheap, technically inept ass and started paying for Zoom. So then episodes are starting to roll again. There wasn't the firm schedule we had in season 3, and it went in fits and starts. Really, it was basically an extension of Season 3.5.
Number of episodes: 7
Total Short Reads: 4
Season Five - Back On Our Bullshit!
The most recent season, featuring the triumphant return of Creative Consultant Tonya! It ended up being far shorter than we wanted, because life got in the way again.
Number of episodes: 11
Total Short Reads: 3
Season Six - We Refuse To Die!
Our current season! Creative Consultant Tonya had to step away due to (happy) life reasons, so we recruited author Ben Meeks to be the toi to our menage. Releasing the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of each month beginning in April 2024. And now in Video as well!!!
The Names
Bob of Tales by Bob - Host, 1-current. The most correct person on the podcast. Does all the back end, and a lot of the planning. So that's why it's a slow moving trainwreck.
Derek, The Ass of the Podcast - Host, 1-current. Usually wrong. Always puts off reading til the last minute.
Superfan/Unpaid Intern/Creative Consultant Tonya - Guest, 1-2. Host 3, 5. Only someone so comically wrong could compete with Derek's title.
Ben Meeks - Host, 6 - Current. Bob recruited his writer brother from another mother when Creative Consultant Tonya let life be more important than this podcast.
Brand Ambassador Ryan - Our biggest fan, onetime head of RyanCo our fictional sponsor, and our New Zealand Brand Ambassador. Coined the name of our annual awards, the Threebies.
Superfan Bud - He sends us weird shit to try, and has guested on an episode or two. He roams the country, doing whatever it is people do when they don't have new episodes of us to listen to. Which is probably just listening to old episodes of us on repeat. That's our suggestion at least.
A Beginners Guide to Southern Fried Fantasy
What are we about?
There are few things in life that Bob hates more than reading books set in the South, but written by folks who have clearly never been there. Who write the South as one big inbred cliche. So he set out to find authors who have spent some or all of their lives living here, and interviewing them about their works.
Season One - Learning What The Hell To Do
The beginning! Over the span of a year Bob interviewed 23 authors! And you know what? No one listened. So he decided that maybe he should stop.
Number of episodes: 23
Season Two - Underway
Knowing he doesn't do this for the money, but for the love, the show started back up in August of 2025 with an interview with author Ben Meeks. Less structured now, the show releases episodes whenever the hell Bob finds someone good to interview.
A Beginners Guide to Page Numbers
What are we about?
Transparency. That is the name of the game. Each episode Bob interviews a different creative to find out the real numbers behind the business. From sales to socials, find out what it's really like to be an indie creative in this day and age. Bob is an author who prides himself on Transparency, so he is a natural to host the interviews.
GoIndieNow
This podcast is made in partnership with GoIndieNow, the brainchild of author and filmmaker Joe Compton. Airing multiple shows a week, it is one of the best resources out there for folks who are indie creatives.
